Thursday, July 17, 2008

"Scholar" Bruce Ware Blames Wives for Husbands’ Abuse

this is taken out of his sermon:

One reason that men abuse their wives is because women rebel against their husband’s God-given authority, a Southern Baptist scholar said Sunday in a Texas church.

What that means to the man, Ware said, is: “He will have to rule, and because he’s a sinner, this can happen in one of two ways. It can happen either through ruling that is abusive and oppressive–and of course we all know the horrors of that and the ugliness of that–but here’s the other way in which he can respond when his authority is threatened. He can acquiesce. He can become passive. He can give up any responsibility that he thought he had to the leader in the relationship and just say ‘OK dear,’ ‘Whatever you say dear,’ ‘Fine dear’ and become a passive husband, because of sin.”

Ware said God created men and women equally in God’s image but for different roles.

"As wife and mother, rather than chafing against it, rather than bucking against it, rather than wanting to be a man, wanting to be in a man’s position, wanting to teach and exercise authority over men,” Ware said. “Rather than wanting that, she accepts and embraces who she is as woman, because she knows God and she knows his ways are right and good, so she is marked as a Christian by her submission to God and in that her acceptance of God’s design for her as a woman.”


are you ------- kidding me? so if a woman doesnt obey her husband its ok for him to give her a good beating to show her whos boss? no woman should ever be blamed for being beaten up by their husbands! these men use the excuse of Gods words to justify their acts and its wrong. I wonder how many women went home that day, got beat, and thought it was their fault because they didnt obey their husbands, all in the name of the Lord. when Ware suggests that it is a domineering woman who incites her husband to abuse...he obviously has no idea that the exact opposite is usually the case. i cant beleive this guy is a professor who teaches this kind of bullshit.

-cristina

3 comments:

oren said...

Before you start throwing stones and slandering someone (especially a Christian brother), please listen to Ware's entire lecture and pay attention to the context. Ware in no way affirms or excuses spousal abuse. Rather, he detests it, for it is despicable in the sight of God and an offense to his glory, as well as to men and women who are BOTH created EQUALLY in God's image. As you cited in his quote, he blames sin, not women. Husbands, who are sinful, respond sinfully when their wives, who are also sinful, sin against them. As a result, men sin by being abusive and/or passive. This goes against God's good and wise design for husbands and wives as it makes a mockery of the relationship between Christ and his bride, the church (Eph. 5). But these sins and sinners can be redeemed and restored in Christ by the gospel, and as a result men and women can live according to God's good and wise design for his glory and their good.

It is very disappointing that people build a straw man from ignorance and then attack it. May God find us faithful in how we listen and respond to others.

Fab4 said...

oren,

Before you start defending abusive husband's, ON MY BLOG, because you say it's "god's design", i have read the entire lecture and have analyzed what he has said and have tried to look at both sides of the spectrum as EVERYONE should, but i still believe his lecture is insulting and degrading to women and decided to post this because of people like you, who are ignorant to fact that there is NEVER an excuse for physical abuse.

yes, he says that husbands react in that way because they have sinned, but it also says that women are attacked because they have sinned as well. so what sin have these women actually committed? the fact that these women may have finally spoken up in their defense against the verbal abuse these men give to them on an everyday basis? or, is it the fact that some of these women didn't cater to every little thing their husband's required of them? in my eyes, and i'm sure other people agree with me, this is in no way a sin! because these women may begin to defend themselves does not mean she should be beat, all in the name of the lord. like i said before, there is never an excuse to justify women enduring physical and verbal abuse, EVER!

if you're still in defense for what the bible says about the relationship a husband and wife should have, here are some verses that obviously counteract what you've said.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" Ephesians 5:25

"In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself" Ephesians 5:28

"Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them." Colossians 3:19

"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers." 1 Peter 3:7

p.s. i feel bad for whoever your spouse is/will be.

-cristina

oren said...

I appreciate you responding to my comments and I hope that we can continue genuine Christian dialogue.

I agree with you wholeheartedly that it is ALWAYS wrong for men to abuse women (and vice versa), which is why I stated previously, "[God] detests it, for it is despicable in the sight of God and an offense to his glory." I also agree with you wholeheartedly that women should not allow abuse, which (again!) is why I said, "This goes against God's good and wise design for husbands and wives as it makes a mockery of the relationship between Christ and his bride, the church (Eph. 5). But these sins and sinners can be redeemed and restored in Christ by the gospel, and as a result men and women can live according to God's good and wise design for his glory and their good." I get this directly from Eph. 5 and 1 Pet. 3. But you did not set Eph. 5 in its context. Eph. 5:22 says, "Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord," and the reason is given in the following ground clause, "FOR the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church." And again, "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands" (1 Pet. 3). Likewise, husbands are to live with their wives in an understanding way...since they are heirs with them of the grace of life." This is not intended to be demeaning or abusive, for men and women are both created equally in the image of God. So, it must be the case that wives are to submit to their husbands in a way that does not diminish her value before God and man. This submission is God-like, since even the Son of Man, Jesus, who is fully God, submitted himself to his Father's will and became man, lived a righteous life, and died on a cross. What a wonderful example! Therefore, wives are to submit as "to the Lord," and husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. How glorious! Wives are to follow their husbands leadership as their husbands imitate Christ's example of servanthood and sacrifice! As a husband (which I happily am!) I am called to follow Christ's example even if it means giving up my own life - and I would do it for my wonderful, Christ-like wife. May God give us much grace by his Spirit to obey him in faith for his glory and our good.

In a marriage where the husband leads, loves, and serves like Christ, and the wife submits to ad follows his leadership as unto the Lord, there is no abuse! This is God's good and wise design and the gospel is displayed in it.

BTW - As I said before, I have been thankfully and happily married to a wonderful, God-glorifying, Christ-honoring, gospel-cherishing, Spirit-filled wife for the past 9 years. I am deeply grateful to God for a wife who joyfully and graciously follows my leadership as unto the Lord, even when I fall short and do not lead her as Christ does the church. By God's sufficient grace we have a wonderful, happy marriage, she is my best friend, and there is no other person in the world that I would give myself to (after 9 years we still have multiple date nights each week!). And the best thing about it is that she would share the same sentiments. What grace!